I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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