I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
