i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
