Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
