shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
