What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
