Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
