cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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