it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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