Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
MIDGETS
????
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
