Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
