I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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