so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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