I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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