it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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