She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
