is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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