I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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