How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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