Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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