Pants 0. Shit 1.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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