The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
