you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
