Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
