your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
