Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
