If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
