you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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