I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
