is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
