If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
