paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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