The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
