I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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