areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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