I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
