dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
