that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she told me i tasted like america
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
