party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
