i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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