Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
