so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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