Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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