I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
