Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
