Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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