Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
