I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
