And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
