is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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