Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
