I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
